Bulletin Board #34

In as much as we are just stwarting up the Bulletin Board again on (hopefully) a regular basis, there won't be to many posts this time. But I did receive quite a bit of humor over the past several days that you might be interested in. I get a lot more, but some of it is a little risque' and might be offensive to some of the subscribers (like the Minnesota Winter one.


Date: Mon, 03 Nov 1997 08:12:32 -0800
From: "Boller, James"
RE: IR

Tim,
metallic film on windows may reduce the IR by 90% or better. jimb.


a little more info on the IR, some years ago we evaluated and had installed some windows that had a thin metallic film installed to reduce RF signals from passing through. it also reduced the IR significantly.

jimb.


From: DJFerguson@swri.edu
Subject: re: IR

Tim: I do not believe I saw the original request concerning IR illumination but I have had limited success out to 100 yards using a high frequency strobe as the light source. IR filters, heat shielding glass and fresnel lens for focus. The entire package was bulky but successful. This was with the illumination source inside looking out not outside looking in.

Don


From: "MCMINIMY, RICHARD W. (JSC-JB2)"
To: "'TIM'"
Subject: bug
Date: Tue, 26 Aug 1997 13:01:31 -0500

Tim I was sent a copy of a news release from the Dallas Morning News 16 Aug 97. It is a long article titled BUGGING TRY SUSPECTED ON GONZALEZ'S PHONE: Part of the article follows " In a routine sweep for electronic listening devices inside the superintendent's office on Wed employees of Security Information Service took apart Dr. Gonzalez's telephone and found evidence that a device might have been installed inside the phone. We believe that it is possible based on what we saw, that someone has placed a microphone inside the telephone instrument" wrote Larry J. Steging, The company's Vice President of Investigations. Then the article later went on to say " The security company's report said that the wiring in the elevator showed a sophisticated attempt to bug the superintendents office, We also think that it may not have been completed. We think perhaps that the discovery of the wire may have been enough to cause the person to get rid of what had been installed."

Have you ever heard of these people? and what are your thoughts on this. Maybe you want to send it on to the group.


Tim Johnson Writes:
Why place a microphone in a telephone; it already contains two to four excellent listening devices--the microphone in the mouthpiece, the earphone, the speaker and the microphone for hands free operation.

On the other hand, it may be an excellent way in which to insure future business.

I'm not making the above statement as an attempt at "sour grapes", just that I've done a number of "second opinion" examinations, following sweeps by TSCM "experts" and was not able to justify their "findings". Most often, I wasn't told that the area had been "swept" by someone earlier and had arrived at my conclusions based on experience, etc. The customer was much happier with my response as they had felt the original examiner "was blowing smoke up their nether regions". I think This will be supported by 98% of the TSCM specialists out there, if they care to respond.

Tim Johnson
dbugman@dbugman.com


From: trace@on ramp.nett
Subject: Jokes in this morning's e-mail
Good comments for when you get pulled over:

  1. I'm sorry, Officer, but I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
  2. That uniform makes your butt look really big.
  3. Your not gonna check the trunk, are you?
  4. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
  5. I but I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket
  6. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
  7. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.
  8. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
  9. Bad Cop! No Donut!
  10. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
  11. When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the camcorder.
  12. I pay your salary, Bucko!
  13. Those sirens are hurting my ears, turn them off or I'm not speaking to you.
  14. Gee, thanks, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too
  15. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does
  16. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far they are ahead of me
  17. Sorry I can't hear you over the radio. No I am not turning it down; I love this song. Either speak up or just leave me alone
  18. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control
  19. Aren't you that guy from the Village People?
  20. No officer, I would not ever insult your intelligence. As I understand it you don't need any to be in law enforcement.
  21. If your going to use that batton can you please at least wait until I am horny.
  22. No officer I don't know how fast I was going. You see my speedometer only goes to 85.


A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid.", answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm...she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
"What do I have to do?"
"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool!"
"What pool?"
"Uh.. is this 832-4821?"


From: TOMB621@aol.com
Subject: Re: IR through glass

Tim:
We use an IR local source (Black Light) with success. Have you seen the literature or the demos? Basically, you are illuminating the interior of the car with a light source that is IN the car, but cannot be seen by the occupants. A B&W (non-IR filtered) video camera will see the interior about as well as it would with a visible light source in the car.

Call or e-mail if you want more......

Tom


FALLING DOWN DRUNK!
There was this guy named Billy sitting in the local bar, drinking more than just a few bourbon and cokes one night. Around two o'clock in the morning, one last round was offered. Though he knew he shouldn't, he took another drink.

Anyway, after the final round, he got up from his stool and immediately dropped to the floor. Of course, that was not at all what he had expected. I mean, he knew that he'd had quite a few, but WOW!

Billy KEPT trying to get up, and KEPT falling down again and again.

After a half dozen attempts, he finally gave up and decided to CRAWL home. At the door of his house he just assumed it would be better not to stand up, since he would almost certainly fall over again and wake his wife. So he crawled quietly to his bed and slipped under the covers next to his wife without her ever waking.

The next morning his wife spoke to him furiously. "Were you drunk again last night?," the wife asked.

Billy was surprised that he was caught after being so stealthy, and asked her how she knew.

"Well," she said, "they just called from the bar. You forgot your wheelchair!"


A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."


Well, folks that's it for this edition.

I look forward to having you submit inquiries pertaining to any aspect of security that you need an answer to or would like to discuss. I'll be glad to post your inquiry anonymously if you desire.
Until later